Category: During it all

The lonely void of adultery

All through the winter and into the spring of my 37th year I fell deeper into the yawning chasm of my entanglement with X. I still felt constantly feverish, like I was going mad. On one level, life continued as it ever had; my eldest daughter made applications to...

That was it. I was having an affair.

I was sunk. I was lost. I felt dizzy and suffused with a fizzing panic, all the time. It was sticky and dark but it was so compelling. I felt like I had clicked back into a mould I recognised, the old smug mould of fitting something extra into...

Suddenly, I was cheating on my husband

Oh, yeah, no. Of COURSE it wasn’t harmless. Of COURSE I wasn’t making a fun new friend. Of COURSE, X and I were going to have an affair. It was so pathetically obvious, it now seems, to everyone but me. Certainly it was obvious to him – he knew...