The lonely void of adultery
All through the winter and into the spring of my 37th year I fell deeper into the yawning chasm of my entanglement with X. I still felt constantly feverish, like I was going mad. On one level, life continued as it ever had; my eldest daughter made applications to...
That was it. I was having an affair.
I was sunk. I was lost. I felt dizzy and suffused with a fizzing panic, all the time. It was sticky and dark but it was so compelling. I felt like I had clicked back into a mould I recognised, the old smug mould of fitting something extra into...
Twenties, and real love
I still think of my early 20s as a genuinely happy time in my life. I had made the break from the toxic relationship that had defined the previous 4 years and without that controlling, panicky knowledge of constant disapproval haunting my days I finally had some friends, real...