Bad decisions, or: liars will always lie
The house that I rented was big, because I wanted a bedroom for each of my children so that they could live with me for half of the time. I was mad. I was dreaming. The children didn’t want to be with me at all; they hated me at...
Eyes opening, too late
On the long drive home from the hotel the sky was a vivid angry pink, streaked with gold, turning a delicate violet and navy at the edges. It was dramatic and beautiful. I felt like I had become a gyroscope, balanced on a narrow point, spinning and close to...
Cheaters will always get caught
Once the wheels came off, in the end, they came off very fast. I was running on empty and caring very little about anything. The summer didn’t even look like summer. Two weeks after X told me about his previous affair, it was my 37th birthday. I had planned,...
Trying, failing, to end the affair
There was nothing that I could do with the information X had given to me. It was too late. I was in too deep. I had nowhere to go with it, no frame of reference. He told me that his previous affair had been several years ago, that his...
Telling lies, being lied to
Lying was a new thing for me, a dubious skill I had not previously possessed, a worrying skill that I had not wanted and did not know I would ever need to perfect. Who knew that it was such an art? X, it turned out, was a master of...